The Proposal

Now, most women think about their proposals as romantic or the best day of their lives. Yes, it was one of the happiest days of my life, but I was so sore the day of my proposal and not a happy camper. Here's our story.

My fiance Reuben decided to take a four day trip to the mountains for his birthday. I was excited and kind of thinking to myself a romantic get-away together would be perfect and he is probably going to propose. I was anxious for the proposal and just new that he was going to propose soon. We made it to the mountains and the resort was beautiful, but he still didn't pop the question the first night.

Day two: We went horse-back riding with another couple up a mountain on a warm and comfortable day. And you know what, the crazy man still didn't propose. My butt and legs were sore and I was still short an engagement ring. I began to wonder if he was even going to proposal while we were vacationing in the mountains, so I looked to enjoying the atmosphere and the time alone I had with Reuben. He constantly dropped hints that he would propose to me sooner rather than later through the whole process and it was starting to drive me nuts.

Day three: Reuben decided that we should climb to the top of Chimney Rock bright and early to avoid the fore casted afternoon rains. Now, I haven't been on a horse in 5 years and I'm here to tell you that although you never forget how to hop onto that horse, you still feel the pain of unused muscles. We made it halfway up and I was ready to call it quits, Reuben however was not. He wanted to push forward to the top no matter what. As a girl who speaks her mind I replied, "I love you, but I do not like you right now." Little did I know that when we reached the top of the mountain he had a surprise for me.

I collapsed on the closest boulder and took pictures of the landscape as Reuben walked around. He didn't look winded at all and seemed to be in deep concentration. Reuben called me over and says lets take some pictures.  I was too busy fiddling with my camera that I didn't realize that he was bending down to propose. I even took a motion picture of him bending down to propose.

Talk about a moment to be at a loss for words. I started laughing in order to avoid crying and I covered my face. He was on his knees for so long he replied, "I can't get up until you give me an answer." I said yes of course, held out my hand, and continued to cover my face.

I skipped all the way down the mountain and as soon as I could I called my mother. I was so excited to get home and be with my family that I wanted to return home a day early. I love my Reuben and sitting here typing this is giving me the biggest smile.

Wedding Recap

The wedding of my dreams is over 400 days away and I have to say that I am glad to stress now rather than later. I want all the information down on the books and the proposed budget to be realized before it gets down to crunch time. After looking at cakes, flowers, caters, and the like I realized that I was over budget by almost $1000. I believe that we can have an exceptionally beautiful and classy wedding on a budget and my fiance agrees with me, so after careful consideration we were able to make some needed changes.

One: Choose another photographer that offers everything we are looking for in quality of work, coverage time, full copyright of photos, printing of photos included in price, and a price that fits our budget. Even after all considerations were done were still looking at $1000 for a photography. Oh well, we want to be able to remember our day and have the best pictures to prove it.

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Two: I will downsize my bridal bouquet and use silk flowers for my bridesmaids or some beautiful silk fans that will defintely be helpful for our summer wedding. Also, this allows for the wedding flower budget to be lowered by at least $100. I believe that my bouquet should be the big bundle on campus, so the bridesmaids don't need flowers anyway.

Three: Cupcakes over a large wedding cake that most people are not going to be eating. Wedding cakes are often not eaten by majority of the guest and it is a sunk cost that you can not get your money back for if it isn't eaten. The cupcake idea works best in my opinion because it can also double as a wedding flavor. Two for one.

LoveBitesCookies

Four: What they don't know or realize,will not hurt them or wedding budget. Plastic flatware that resembles real silverware at a fraction of the cost. Was thinking of renting the silverware, glassware, and plates but the expenses still add up. Smartyhadaparty.com has become my new best friend. The prices are in bulk and offer a variety of wedding items to choose from.

Five: Food is good for the soul, so why not have the comfort foods that we know and love. I went to a family cook out this week and fell in love all over again with my favorite Aunt Pattie's food and the presentation. She made food that everyone would love and I still get my country loving in the process. Family will still prepare the food except the menu items will be a lot more cost efficent to make for a large group of people.

Nonetheless, I know that our wedding will be beautiful and the wedding our dreams. So, I'm a bridezilla on a budget and I will get what I want. While making my hubby to be happy as well with the wedding decisions.

Wedding Registries and The Anticipation

Today I learned that there is 430 days until our big day and wouldn’t you know it I got a little emotional. The countdown was set for me as I began to register my fiancé and I at different companies such as Bed, Bath, and Beyond, Target, Sears, and Macy's. I have to say that I liked registering on Target the most. It was easy and convenient to manuever. It also provided helpful information such as days until wedding, number of times registry viewed, number of items purchased, and number of items in each price range.

Before You Start

If you are endeavoring to set-up online wedding registries I have a few simple words of advice. (1) Get some music going (2) Grab a nice glass of wine, I suggest a glass of Moscato and some chocolate (3) Find a comfortable chair and get to surfing the web.

Five Simple Tips for Wedding Registries

1. Include your fiancé in on making the decisions. You may not have exactly the same tastes and he should be able to add things he likes as well, so that both of you can be happy with your gifts. Compromising and good collaboration are needed relationship abilities that are helpful for the future.

2. Don’t go wedding registering crazy. Choose 3 or 4 retail stores to register to make it easier for your guests as well as yourself if you need to update those online registries.

3. Make sure to include gifts in every price range. You can do this by choosing one high-end store, one averaged-priced store, and a more cost-conscious retail store.

4. Don’t be afraid that an item will be too much for your guests to buy. The worst case scenario is you won't get it, so don’t feel guilty about having high-end taste. Do keep in mind that asking for a car or $4000 sound system might be pushing the envelope.

5. Word of mouth and social media is the easiest and most polite way to let family, friends, and guests know where you are registered.

I had a friend tell me she attended a wedding where the bride registered at a lingerie store. It made me wonder is there a such thing as inappropriate gifts on a wedding registry. According to friend Ally McQueen, “You should not have “naughty items” on your wedding registry.” Student Sidney Edwards replied, "You should not put anything on your registry you wouldn't want your grandparents to see." There were only a few people who felt this way. Another friend commented, “Why not “naughty items? You will have to have something to help consummate the marriage with.”

Whip Control

Personally, if you want to do that for potential bridal shower gifts then limit the registry to friends and family with an equal sense of humor. Otherwise, it's not exactly something your future mother-in-law or older family need to have access to. Now if it was me, I would register at Fredericks of Hollywood.

The GiftRegistry360.Com by theKnot is incredible. It allows you to link/sync all your wedding registries if they are a part of the Featured Partners list, but you can also add from other on-line registries. There is also the added bonus of creating styleboards for each room. I love this feature. Fun to see how well our tastes aline with one another. Once again I noticed that certain companies have lost their minds with regards to price, so Crate and Barrel will not have to worry about a Hilton-Bond Wedding Registry.

You Will Wear What I Tell You To Wear Cont.

I have narrowed down which bridesmaid dresses I will be choosing for my girls. The experience at David's Bridals was hilarious and very eye-opening to say the least. I realized how important it is to understand your bridesmaids body types and what they are truly comfortable with wearing. If they have to spend hundreds of dollars on a dress, then it is only fair that they feel beautiful and comfortable in it. I love my bridesmaids and I want nothing more than for them to look their best.

My favorite Davids Bridal specialist Jessica made this wonderful comment, "The right brassiere can make any dress look fantastic." I have to agree and will be going undergarment shopping with all my girls. Even I need to make sure the ladies up top are going to look fabulous in my one shoulder wedding dress as well as be safe and secure. We will not be having any wardrobe malfunctions at the Hilton-Bond wedding.

Here are the dresses that I have narrowed the choices down to.

My Aunt Pattie remarked, "I like this dress one because it would flatter everyone of your bridesmaids."
This one is personally my sister Chaka and my favorite.
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This is a dress I like to think would look great on my maids of honor.
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Great color and style. I just need to get them to not be so stiff. I love these girls.
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This is a sexy and stylish dress that looks great on my girls.
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Shoes Make Any Dress

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Shoes are an important part to any woman's outfit. The shoes can even make or break an outfit and as a woman I can say that I start from the feet and work my way up. If the shoes are a hot mess or just don’t make the bill then the outfit loses serious cool points. It is only proper that I have put incredible thought into the shoes my bridesmaids will be wearing in my wedding.

www.davidsbridal.com

                            Five Point to Keep In Mind When Choosing Bridesmaid Shoes

1. Do the shoes match the style of the dress? Example a summer flowery style dress can be dressed down with flats or wedges or up with a sexy pair of stiletto slingbacks.
2. Is the environment safe for stilettos or high-heel pumps? Never cute or safe to have stumbling bridesmaids. Note: Plenty of YouTube views of bridesmaids taking a good tumble.
3. How much are your bridesmaids willing to spend on shoes?
4. Should you let your bridesmaids choose their own shoes or pick them as the bride yourself?
5. Comfort and style should be considered equally. Remember the ceremony is at least an hour and the bridesmaids may not like you if you stick them in sky-high stilettos.

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I have thought long and hard about this and I have decided personally to let my bridesmaids make the choice themselves. I consulted with bridesmaid specialist Ms.Kathleen Moore said “You should let your bridesmaids choose their own shoes, but you get finally say in the shoes. The bridesmaids will like you better for it.” Plus, we consulted with other seasoned bridesmaids they said that fifty bucks is a reasonable price to pay for bridesmaid shoes. I can understand that and have chosen a few shoes I think they may like if they so choose to buy them for the wedding.

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Brides remember that just because a shoe is crazy sexy cool doesn't mean its going to be the most comfortable or appropriate for your wedding day or wedding dress. Never fret. Fashion always prevails, so kick those cute and conservative shoes off the minute you walk down that aisle with your new husband. Next step, put on those shoes that just make you shine and your sexy bride dress pop. So strut your stuff. I know I will. If you have a pair of shoes you just love from your past use them and have your something old.

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You Will Wear What I Tell You To Wear

I believe that my bridesmaids and their attire will be the one area of my wedding where my horns are sure to come out and the Bridezilla in me will make herself known. I want my bridesmaids to be comfortable in their bridesmaid’s dresses as well as look good, but my version of look good.

Since I will be having a summer wedding, I want my bridesmaids to be in light-weight, cocktail dresses that both flatter and represent the beautiful season of summer. There needs to be a certain sophisticated feel to the dresses as well that’s still fun and free flowing. I am currently stuck between three colors: lapis, amethyst, and platinum. It is important to be mindful of the various body-types and comfort levels of your bridesmaids and thus another problem is thrown into the mix.

While conversing with Ruth a David’s Bridal Associate she commented that “Vera Wang is the only distributor of the amethyst bridal dress color.” No problem you would think, but then she commented that “Certain Vera Wang styles would not be flattering for the curvier woman for it would add more emphasis to her lower half.” There is also the matter of cost when choosing Vera, but since I bought my wedding dress through David’s Bridal my bridesmaids get a $20 discount. Here are my favorite designs of White by Vera Wang.

According to the Knot Bridesmaid Handbook, “You have the right to weigh in on your dress. You also have the right to hope with all your heart that the bride chooses one that you find less than terrifying. However, in the event your dream does not come true, you have no right to complain for a single second.” I completely agree with the Knot, but in the same token they should believe in my fashion prowess and know that I would never make them look bad, especially if they have to be in my pictures for all time. Surround yourself with beautiful people and the pictures will always be wall worthy.

“The right to veto cruel and unusual underwear: a Wonderbra that gives you porn-star cleavage, Spanx that cut off your circulation,” is not a part of the deal and I cannot in good conscious agree with the Knot Bridesmaid Handbook. If I have to be caged into a corset for 8 hours then they should be able to handle cruel and yet appropriate under garments. It is only fair and since it’s my day they will heed to my reasonable demands.

The Knot Bridesmaid Handbook also notes that bridesmaids “shall not be forced by the bride to permanently alter your appearance for the sake of looking good in the wedding pictures. This includes, but is not limited to, dyeing your hair, removing tattoos, or getting a nose job.” I take this right to mean that I can force them to alter their hair with weaves and extensions. As well as I must point out that there are temporary hair dyes that indeed do not permanently alter the physical appearance and thus my sister will be going back to a brunette instead of a flaming red head.


There will be bridesmaids bootcamp. It maybe rude or even down right mean, but you will look fit and designed to please by the time you walk down the aisle. Mrs.Gina said that "It's not rude. Just make sure not to hurt anyones feelings." I'll set a challenge for my bridesmaids, if they can complete a whole kickboxing routine then I will say nothing about being fit for the wedding.

We Can Have Our Cake and Eat It Too

A wedding cake is a very special addition at any wedding. It is the centerpiece of the wedding even with glamorous table decorations abound and a beautiful couple waiting to take center stage. I want the only thing my guest ooh and ah about to my new husband and I.

Granted, I still want my cake to be elegant, cheque, and simple. As a bridezilla on a budget, I also want it covered in calla lilies real or edible. The love of my life left everything in my hands on two stipulations: one he prefers cream cheese icing or butter cream icing and two that the cake topper be a traditional bride and groom. No problem. Right? Wrong! We are an interracial couple and I am a very picky person when it comes to details and finding the perfect interracial cake topper is a pain in my slimming derriere.

Growing up I loved to watch cake shows like Cake Boss, Amazing Wedding Cakes, and more. I even met Buddy from Cake Boss. He was really nice. Reality hit when I discovered that some of those cakes price could range into the thousands. I love cake just as much as the next person, but budget being set there’s no way I will be spending that much on a cake most people would rather look at than eat.

So, we decided that we wanted to do a spin on the traditional wedding cake and have a two tier centerpiece cake with cupcakes from the Cupcake Shoppe in Raleigh, NC surrounding it. Those cupcakes with by paired with another wedding favor(calla lily picture frames) for guests to take home if they like. I love the cupcakes at the Cupcake Shoppe, especially the “You Mocha Me Crazy.”

Cinda’s Creative Cakes may have stolen the win from the Cupcake Shoppe. I wish I could share a piece of their cake with the audience, so they could understand the decadence of those small samples I had at the North Hills Wedding Affair. The cinnamon swirl cake was so moist it....left me speechless as I devoured the rest of the sample. My aunt took her first bite, her eyes bulged and all she could say was “This is so good. I need to get this recipe.” The icing was sweet and spicy, but not too overpowering for those with sensitive taste buds.

This is the perfect example of my wedding cake.

My mother, aunt Pattie, and I sampled all the flavors available and just fell head over heels in love with the bakers at Cinda’s Creative Cake. I won’t admit this to my aunt, but the cake was better than her world famous “Shock-it to Me Cake.” Best of all they met the my Reuben’s desire for buttercream icing. I browsed Cinda's Creative Cake's gallery and found the perfect cake. All you have to do is change the green to lapis, loose the roses, add a black girl on top, and that's my cake.

Then there was the issue with finding interracial cake toppers that didn’t make either of us look like a chocolate bar or a piece of chalk respectively. After searching high and low I found the perfect wedding toppers at thatsmytopper.com. Although, I think I will invest in some acrylic paint after my favorite supervisor jokingly suggested, “You should just take a crayon and add to it.” Not a bad suggestion in my book, I have a steady hand and love making things unique. Plus, Thatsmytopper offers mix and match cake toppers that make it easy to choose exactly what you desire.

Mix and Match Cake Toppers

I want this one.